Sunday, October 10, 2010

Toy Boys

I met Beautiful Ethereal Pam on my foray into town. She told me she had been seeing a man 15 years her junior - well done her. She had found it a little exhausting. I have decided once you get past about 36 age doesn't really matter; younger men keep ladies youthful for longer. As I look into the mirror and see my mother staring back at me I think - maybe I should get one. Mr Smith would not need to know. On the other hand preparing oneself for a lover would be such awfully hard work. The bliss of being fat, hairy and lazy - that's my lovely Mr Smith.

I went to Bond Street and looked at watches. I tried on a pretty pink Rolex which I thought was rather expensive at £6,000. It was actually £16,000! And that's not expensive for a nice watch I can assure you. I limped to John Lewis feeling pained at my limited funds and bought pretty underwear. I can't really think why as nobody will ever see it unless I take Mad Carina's advice and wear it outside my clothes. I bought the wrong size bra because I didn't read the label properly - I'll squeeze.

I ended my perfect Saturday with a bottle of wine, an industrial sized pack of maltesers and X-Factor for mental stimulation; I was rather ill in the night. "I told you so" says Mr Smith who went to golf at 6am .. on a Sunday!

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