Mumsie

I have looked in my diary today and found the page completely blank which implies I can enjoy a day of absolute idle procrastination with an afternoon film for light relief. I doubt it. I will be nursing the poor ailing Apprentice who is gravely ill, with a slight cough. Remember I am his Mother. The Student is home with trousers at half mast and a declaration that the dog is "Well fat". And I paid well good for wot his ejucashun cost an all - innit. He'll be on the sick list next as he's quite good at volunteering for anything going around. In the meantime I will send him off to do his Christmas shopping and try to get on better with him. Just in case you believe in our judicial system, I'd like you all to know he's been called for jury service in the Spring for the third time and can no longer postpone it.

Two burly men have just heaved an enormous box over the doorstep. Oh my God. It's the Christmas ham. What was Mr Smith thinking of? Has he invited several other tribes of starving people for Christmas? Who on earth is going to eat all this pig? Oh probably me.

And now I will clean my house then mess it all up again.