Workaholic

Suddenly it's raining work. Lovely. Keeps me occupied and stops me getting too excited about Christmas which will start in the Smith household next week when I will put pen to robin and dispatch good cheer to all whilst Mr Smith starts bahhumbugging.

My calendars are coming along nicely. I jumped forward to December leaving the summer and autumn for my next and painted little partridges that look like vultures in pear trees whilst a man from the Oven Cleaning Co broke my cooker knobs. However, the cooker does look gleamy and I don't really want to mess it up by ever cooking anything ever again. I suppose he will send me new cooker knobs soon before we all waste away.

Off to the Royal Academy today. Hopefully I will find some Christmas cards on my travels in aid of starving artists or something.

My next job involves drinking lots of wine and making a drunken film - what a hardship. I'm thinking "Sideways" here (a film I greatly recommend unless you are a Merlot drinker) but I think a short video diary of my slurps is what will be required. Mr Smith, sommelier in chief, is taking this all rather seriously and getting out bottles of Petrus and Chateau Lafite whilst hiding all the Majestic and Sainsburys bargain buys. I'm just getting drunk.