Yesterday it was the Apprentice's birthday - Happy Birthday to him. I performed the usual motherly acts of all six year olds i.e. baking him a cake covered in sharks and giving him a present wrapped in exciting stripy paper. He's 24 not 6, I just never noticed. To celebrate this momentous occasion family Smith gathered at a posh restaurant where we ate and drank far too much and I now feel in danger of exploding.
Today is Big Walk Day. Actually, tomorrow is BWD; today is On Your Marks Day as I set off for Oop North ready to make a start on my three week walking holiday, coast to coast, tomorrow. Just as well as I feel a bit fragile from last night's revelling and not a bit like a Big Walk. I will sleep on the journey from Kings Cross to Hull and try not to leave my backpack on the train.
Mr Smith is off to France to hit zee little white balls. I wish he wasn't as I like to bombard him with tasks from afar. I find e-mails work best as he tends to obey those in a worky way rather than ignore them completely as he does anything verbal. "I didn't hear you" is Mr Smith's usual answer when I have the temerity to enquire as to why licences have expired and cars remain unserviced and the dog is still at the kennels despite several desperate pleas for action on his part. "Oh no I've missed the goal now, woman."
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