Amsterdam

Internet Dating Jane lent me a red umbrella to take to Amsterdam as rain was forecast. She and Jack brought it round, him with a little note attached to his collar thanking me for all his walkies during the week. What a polite dog! I've always liked him. We drank some wine and I got sloshed; this did not aid my packing which, apart from the umbrella, was a bit rubbish.

When we got to Amsterdam it was raining - hooray for the umbrella. It was also quite cold and I had failed to pack a scarf or gloves - I bought a scarf or rather Mr Smith bought me a scarf as my Euros ran out on day 1. I also bought the whole of Amsterdam which I had difficulty squeezing into my suitcase despite it being rather empty on arrival due to my awful packing.

I loved the flower market, the Van Gogh museum, the shops, the cheese, the trams and the wonderful architecture of Amsterdam. I did not like the stink of drugs everywhere, the lunatic number of tacky tourist shops or the freezing fog that descended on day 3. Rather too many things were closed for refurbs including the Museum of modern art, the Scheepvaart museum (shipbuilding not sheep farming), and most of the Rijksmuseum, though the best bits were on view. Perhaps that's the hazard of going out of season.

The ladies of the night in their red windows were very interesting - though I didn't let Mr Smith loiter. I was glad I saw them as well as finding a windmill and eating a pancake - the three essential things to do in Amsterdam, though not all at the same time.