Egg donor

I went to visit my ailing grandmother in Suffolk. I was so glad to see her before she finally departs this life and I think this was mutual. I am pleased she has the best possible care; she is looked after by a joint team of carers, Fat Cosy Alison and Mr Fat Cosy Alison, who have to be the world's nicest people. Not only do they tend to Granny's every whim but, whilst I was there, to mine too. Granny is like a tiny little sparrow tucked up her nest of a bed all cosy and safe with people flying in and out to feed her a few worms now and again. I read her the newspaper and chatted about my children and other bits of trivia until she drifted off for a little zizz.
(I hoped I hadn't actually bored the poor woman to death.)

In the afternoon, during one of Granny's three hundred snoozes, I went to visit Internet Dating Jane's lovely Mum who lives nearby and let me play on her farm. I want an egg producing plant, with chickens and egg boxes. I pressed a button and out came eggs which were then stamped and packed all automatically. Such clever chickens. I also met some very beautiful cows and little baby new cows and a great big bull with lots of rosettes. I resisted the temptation to pop a little calf in my car but went away with loads of eggs and felt quite buoyed up for my evening shift at Granny's bedside.

I returned to London to be greeted by the washing up, the laundry languishing in the machine (although I had made a request in that department) and an unwalked dog. Mr Smith looked quite pleased to see me.... and my eggs.