Lost relations

Antonia Rolls came to visit me at the seaside yesterday morning. She is a fellow artist - a bit better than me - whose paintings I love. She painted my portrait and I have another painting of hers in my flat. She sadly lost her man to cancer a couple of years ago and painted some wonderful pictures of him on his deathbed which caused quite a lot of controversy when exhibited. Her most recent exhibition was cancelled at the last minute due to the family of the dead chap raising a terrible stink and being ridiculously mean and spiteful. They honestly are the most beautiful pictures, not remotely gruesome but interesting; perhaps a little necromantic for some but brave nonetheless. It is always nice to see an old friend; makes the world spin a little less rapidly even though ten years ago feels like yesterday.

I received an e-mail out of the blue from someone claiming to be my long lost cousin. Actually, she is Mr Smith's long lost cousin. I went to visit her on the way back from the seaside and she was jolly nice. I had to explain that all Smiths are extremely antisocial and she'd be unlikely to get any response from any of them, especially Mr Smith who remembers her as a little girl at the seaside having a 99 when the Smiths all had to make do with the threepenny cornet, and has born a grudge ever since.

When I got back to London I suddenly remembered Internet Dating Jane, Tarzan, Sensible Alison and Ed were coming to dinner. I had to fabricate a chocolate roulade, a vaguely clean house and a Moroccon lamb stew. I managed to get it all together by the time our dinner guests arrived but I was rather tired. I ate about 3 helpings of chocolate roulade washed down with two bottles of champagne and wasn't very well in the night. The diet seems to be on holiday.