Success

Mr Smith didn't go to golf today and took up residence on the sofa like a ... well, like me really except I didn't lounge on the sofa at all. I walked the dog and visited Internet Dating Jane and her new sewing machine. Well, it's really her old sewing machine that she hasn't quite got round to taking out of its box ... for two years. She has now, so we busied ourselves doing purple fancy stitches (she only had purple thread) all afternoon.

I came home and decided to study the alimentary canal. I have discovered it takes more than 72 hours (3 days) for your food to go from mouth to loo if you are a normal healthy person or even if you are a barking mad healthy person for that matter. That's quite a long time.
I couldn't be bothered to wait three days so I cheated and took a few potions washed down with a bottle of wine which gave me a hangover. However, I do feel a bit lighter now and hopefully can write about something more interesting than my bowels from now on.

By the way Mr Smith, ever competitive, wishes to report enormous success -thrice round the bowl and pointed at both ends. I've had to remind him that boasting isn't attractive.