An illuminated morning

My morning is not faring well, not at all. Firstly, I was hauled from my bath by the postman - well not literally as that would have been most embarrassing, especially as it wasn't Gary our usual postman but a very zealous doorbell ringer of a temporary postie. I put on my big towelling robe, ran downstairs and glared at the man. I really wouldn't have minded that much except the parcel contained free energy saving light bulbs addressed to Mr Smith. Oh how I hate them. I hate their stupid wiggly shape and the sad little gloam they give to all rooms. We have one outside that we call "the dark" as in "Could you switch on the dark please" as it gives out such a pathetic glimmer it illuminates nothing but the casing. Mr Smith says they need time to warm up. I know that but I am too impatient; I want to see now, that is why I turned the light on. I have found a website that specialises in illegal non government issue bulbs http://www.thelightbulb.co.uk/ to which I will probably become a very good customer from henceforth and stamp on the free ones with my huge carbon footprint.

As I shouted at the postman for making me take delivery of this stupid free unwanted gift instead of simply leaving it on the step, I noticed Mr Smith sitting in his car where he'd been trying to melt a hole in the ice on his windscreen from the inside for the past ten minutes. He might have headed off the postman and allowed me an uninterrupted bath. I opened his car door, grabbed the scraper and hit him with it. No I didn't actually. I do what I do every morning; I scraped his windscreen and shouted at him fiercely. A little crowd of neighbours gathered to watch the spectacle of Dressingown Woman in middle of street screeching hysterically at man in car. I glared at them and they went away.

I am now reading about Anger Management for New Year - they suggest starting your day with a nice relaxing (uinterrupted) bath!