I got up this morning to find Mr Smith, the Apprentice and the dog all staring at the telly. Andy Murray was playing tennis against Federer in Australia. Andy Murray lost and the dog has been in a bait ever since; I had to absolutely drag him round the common for his walkies. He is looking a bit portly these days so I think a low carb diet and plenty of exercise is a good prescription for both of us.
I spent the afternoon trying not to eat all Internet Dating Jane's lovely biscuits as they came out of her oven. Oh they are so delicious. I then ate her emergency chocolate but I did manage to practice moderation, a fairly new concept for me.
My grandmother is still hanging onto life by a thread - a high tensile steel thread of the sort used to pull trucks. She has been given a prognosis of four (very long) days. I sent her some hyacinths in the hope that she can smell them and enjoy them before she wafts away. I am so horrified that anyone should have to die so slowly and miserably; a little shot of morphine and she'd quietly go to sleep but it's no longer allowed which seems mighty unfair to me.
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